Monday, May 22, 2017

I need to get this out of the way,

Okay, no fancy images, no anything else. I'll be using this blog for less professional one-offs. Before I continue any further on my blog posts about one of my two big game projects, Hymn of the Hallux I wanted to address something that came to me of importance.

Commonly, I talk about many reasons why I'm doing something, whether it be from a financial point of view, or my plan for marketing the game, or something else. I'm thinking a bout the viability of this all.

I never really talk about the artistic side, and why it matters to me.

Video Games touched my life in a way that no other medium has (not to say that other medium's haven't touched me) - When I was a young lad, video games gave me something to relate to people to talk about. The first three big Super Nintendo RPG's (Earthbound, Chrono Trigger, and Super Mario RPG). Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door got me to want to make games.

If it wasn't for games, I wouldn't have any of my current best friends. (granted I've got a lot of cool peeps in my life, but still), I wouldn't have the partner I have (whether or not it stays that way, que sera sera), and frankly, I'd be empty.

I'm creating games on the level of storytelling as my favorites because I want to inspire kids who were in the same shoes as I was. I'm not in this just to tell an artist side to express myself, or to hopefully be able to give all of the people I work with (and will soon work with) the money they all deserve: I'm doing it because I have the need to speak for that. This is my one true career goal.

There is another part to why I'm writing this, though, now that I've explained some of my history. My ambition commonly gets the best of me. I have idealistic expectations - I'm not unrealistic, however. As of recently with growing up, paying more attention to politics and what's going on around our country, I realize how much I've been wrapped in fiction.

It's that I want an ending like fiction.

I commonly get unnerved when I don't know what's going to happen. Last night was a sense of a relief in a discussion. The conversation I had with someone was me not catching this person up to the page I was on, which is fine. I tend to forget if I've said something or not. All ended up being well, but I did realize post conversation.

I need to get better at handling things day by day. Nothing is going to go 100% perfectly ever, especially in the world of having a software development team *and* a group of people I hope to make music with (or rather, I write, we record it at least). It's the equivalent of having another family - to me, it is my second family.

I just have to live day by day, instead of wanting an ending like fiction. There are no ends; the universe will go on for years and years and years.

I don't have to give up my ambition. My actual patient nature will start to show itself off more without needing that "end goal" looming me.

I will make everything happen. With patience. This is what I'm passionate about... and if not, I'll look back and know I tried and don't regret it. Even if HotH and Infusion don't prove themselves fruitful, I still plan on trying... Though, I'll be budgeting down my ambitions if those don't prove well

Now that I've got that out of the way, I'll be returning to updates on They'll be much less personal and more "here's how I do thing" or "here's the game's progress".

thank you all for reading. have a good night.